Moving Foreward
by cuddlebugX31
Summary: Emily takes a big step in her life...Will she go through with it?
1. Chapter 1

"Mmm, oh baby!," I pant.

"Mmm, yes baby?," Paige whispers softly, her own breathing labored from desire and effort.

I moan, unrestrained, "Not a question…just…DON'T STOP!"

I barely see her smirk through my half closed eyes and hear that lovely giggle that sends shivers down my spine. Her hand is in me, those deft fingers curling towards my front as her thumb presses down on my clit. Upon my request she slides out then back in with all four fingers, never missing a beat, and reaching all the way to my very end so that her fingertips just barely caress it and make me gasp and arch off the bed. Her fingers bounce between caressing my end and curling towards my front, the sensations driving me closer and closer to my orgasm, my moans growing louder and louder.

"Baby, you're getting so tight…are you close yet?"

"Close…mmm, baby you fill me up so well…just keep curling…your fingers…"

"As you wish, baby…," she replies huskily and doubles her efforts.

"Mmm, baby!...right there!...so close…"

"Mmm, say my name when your there. I want to hear you cry it out as you orgasm, baby."

All I can do is moan and nod my head in a semi-coherent way as sensations flood my body with pleasure. I grip the sheets as tight as possible, desperate for some sort of grounding as her fingers push me closer and closer to release. After a few more curls and a final flick of her thumb over my clit, I topple over the edge, crying out, "ohhh! PAIGE!" My body writhes beneath her, my channel contracting around her hand as the waves of my orgasm crash over me. My breath comes in pants and I finally open my eyes to look at the woman who just brought me so much pleasure, I beckon to her and she slowly pulls her fingers out and leans over me. Our lips collide in a passionate kiss, and I wrap myself around her, flipping so that I'm on top and I can rest my head on her breasts. We lay silent for a few minutes, basking in our post-coital bliss as she strokes my hair.

I look up at her and say softly, "baby, there's something that I've been thinking about doing for a little while now…and I'm finally ready for it and I'd like you to help me with it."

She looks down at me, her head tilted to the side curiously, "what would my binkie like to do?"

"I want to burn all the notes and letters from Maya, along with all the journal entries about her…" I mutter nervously.

Her body tenses beneath mine at the mention of Maya, then she cups my cheek and searches my eyes as she asks, "Are you sure? That's your last tie to her and I know how much you loved her, can you really destroy that forever? I'll help you if this is what you really want to do, but I want you to be 100% sure of it."

I meet her gaze, resolute in my decision, "Yes, I'm sure. I'm ready to move on…"


	2. Chapter 2

**7 months later…**

"I thought seeing as today was nice; we could go out and burn all the letters and journal entries?" Paige says as she looks up at me.

I meet her eyes and nod, "Okie dokie, we can do that…I feel like I should be crying or something."

"Well, you have been getting over her, maybe you're finally ready to say goodbye for good?"

"You have a point, but let's just see what happens after we get outside to the fire pit."

We slowly put on our jackets and head outside, walking hand in hand to the fire pit. I carefully clear away a spot and lay down a few sheets of journal, staring at all the feelings and thoughts about to be burned away forever. I'm back to my old mindset, scared of letting go, nervous about the future and second guessing my decisions; then everything goes blank…

I blink my eyes and the papers are alight, the words disappearing before my very gaze. Feeding the flames slowly, before I finally just dump in all the pieces previously ripped up, likening the process to ripping off a band-aid. Smoke and ash float up, gently being scattered by the wind to new places; all my private thoughts, all my depression, all the cuts, the blood, everything and anything, floating away to unknown places. Stories of things that shall never come to pass and a future cut short, it's all gone…

"How are you feeling Emily?"

I look up at Paige and then slowly stand; taking her hand "I'm fine, I don't feel anything…is that healthy?"

"I don't think that is healthy…do you want to talk about it? You know I don't mind listening to you talk about her."

"No, it's fine. Let's just get going, I have to go back home before it gets any later."

"Ok beautiful, let's go…"

I take Paige back inside, giving her a soft kiss before I head for my car and go home. Time passes slowly, my head in a daze as I sit through then go to my room, closing the door tight behind me. My phone goes off but I ignore it, too numb and confused to focus on anything but the empty journal in my lap. Emotions bubble just beneath the surface, yet too far away for me to access and too raw to even consider letting out. I strip out of my clothes then just sit on my bed, staring at my naked thighs; scars still litter my skin but there's one group that's already fading fast…"MAYA." Those four letters used to bring me comfort but now I can't feel a thing; my body is torn and tattered, yet Paige still loves me and accepts what happened. My heart is split between two girls, I love them both and I will always have my memories…but is it fair that a dead girl could hold more of my heart? Am I a terrible person for trying to move forward in an unethical manner?

I sigh, "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Looking at my phone finally, I read Paige's text: _I hope you feel better, I know I do. Now we can move forward together with nothing separating us__._

I close my eyes and shake my head, only one question on my mind… Did I do the right thing?


End file.
